In the 24 years of operating our school, Addison Music Learning Centre in Oakville, we have heard this same complaint many times. "My daughter/son just isn't practicing, we are throwing away our money, and therefore quitting lessons"
There are many instances of children beginning lessons, all gung ho, ready to go, promising to practice, then the interest and flame of attraction to the instrument fizzles out and over time turns into just a glowing ember. The question is... do you add some oxygen to that ember? Or do you just let it fizzle out?
And...Are you really throwing away your money? Or, by quitting lessons, are you actually throwing away an amazing opportunity to learn how to set up the life skills for a successful and effective life?
No one will deny that practicing feels like a chore sometimes. But wouldn't we all admit that anything worth doing is hard work? Life is hard. Getting anywhere in life requires perseverance, goal setting, time management, faith in yourself, and willpower. Not to mention, when the going gets tough, do the tough get going? Or do they quit?
I was always taught from a very young age that quitting is absolutely out of the question. Which is why I persevered throughout my life to achieve everything I've always wanted.
If someone is trained from a young age to quit when the going gets tough, that's simply a recipe for unrealised potential throughout their entire life. And that is a terribly disappointing thought isn't it?
We offer something called a 4 week trial at our school. This is mainly designed to make sure the student is 1) comfortable with the teacher and 2) likes the instrument. One source of frustration for me, the teachers, and our administrative staff is a parent who says after a 4 week trial, "No we won't be continuing... although "Johnny" loves his lessons, he is just not practicing at home."
What makes this frustrating for us is this; A child doesn't just naturally have the capability of healthy practice habits, time management skills, and goal setting. A child needs to be trained in these skills. Training takes time, patience, and perseverance. It never happens overnight - or in 4 weeks.
How do we achieve in developing better practice habits? ...Training and habit forming is key.
Music lessons are the perfect vehicle to begin to train your child to develop and learn these healthy lifestyle habits. Your music teacher is not just teaching your child music. Your music teacher is teaching your child how to practice, persevere, and win in life! Your music teacher is actually teaching life skills!
But young people who are being trained to develop these habits need help and guidance at home too. Your music teacher is only with your child once per week. Your music teacher will set the standards, and mom and dad need to help to lay the ground work to develop the habit at home.
Take a look at your friends, family, or associates that surround you in your life, and pick out the most successful and effective people you can think of. What do they have in common? The successful and highly effective people who surround me are dedicated, have great self management skills, have well planned out days/weeks/lives and goals, and basically they have healthy lifestyle habits.
Also consider an amazing athlete. What is it that makes him or her that great? Again... perseverance, good practice habits, good eating habits, good work out habits.
Habits, perseverance, and dedication. They are not something that we just possess... They are learned skills. Just like learning anything, learning these skills takes time.
One of our most effective students at the school is actually a competitive skater.
If you know anything about competitive skating, it requires a lot of time, hours and hours of practice, perseverance,
self management skills, and gallons of willpower. Her skating coaches are teaching her these skills. She came to us when she was well on her way to adopting healthy practice habits into her life. This student has naturally carried over these self management skills into her music lessons, therefore, making her a model student. She sets aside time for practice almost every day of the week, comes to her lessons thoroughly prepared and ready to move forward. Her teacher is proud of her and she is proud of herself. The relationship to her teacher and her lessons is a truly positive and life rewarding experience.
The outcome of her habitual practice/lifestyle is that flame we were talking about earlier, the yearning to learn MORE music, it never fizzles for her. The reason is she is moving forward and loving what she does is, she reaches her goals through perseverance. When she continually reaches her goals, a chemical is released in her brain called dopamine. This is a feel good chemical that leads to good self esteem and continued perseverance.
For this student (and many others we know) doing the work and achieving more knowledge and becoming a better player becomes an endless circle of self gratification.
How do we turn on the brain so it is consistently releasing dopamine?
1) Use dopamine to your advantage! Set up small goals for the student first. Watch what happens to the students mood when they've reached them! If it's done properly, reaching goals will become a mood enhancing stimulant, and the student will thrive for more and more!
Achieving these goals will also give him or her FAITH IN THEIR ABILITY TO SUCCEED!
We have just implemented a Goal Achievement Program at Addison Music Learning Centre and you can choose to be a part of it or not. If you are not taking part in this goal setting program, and the student is having problems with consistency of practicing, and / or achieving milestones in lessons, please ask your teacher to set the student up in our goal program.
2) Set up a practice schedule ahead of the week according to the students lifestyle, and be consistent. Set aside a specific time on a daily basis to practice. Do not waiver from that schedule even if it gets in the way of other things. Turn this into a habit by repeating it over and over again. Ask your teacher to explain exactly what to do in practice sessions if confused. Ask your teacher to write it in the dictation book.
3) Turn the goal into a habit. Taken from "Psychology Today, written by Ralph Ryback, M.D., from his blog 'The Truisms of Wellness':
A recent study published in the journal Neuron found that habits and goals are stored differently in the human brain. Specifically, a region known as the orbitofrontal cortex is responsible for converting wishful goals into solid, automatic habits via the neural messengers known as endocannabinoids, which are also responsible for modulating appetite, memory, mood and (as the name implies) the psychoactive effects of cannabis.
The best way to get your endocannabinoids to help you form a habit is by being consistent. Work toward your goal every day, even if you don’t feel like it. You can set aside a specific time each day, or a specific context. For instance, you can use mouthwash every day at exactly 9 p.m. (a specific time), or you could use mouthwash immediately after brushing your teeth (a specific context). The more regular the behavior, the more easily your brain can convert it into a habit.
Developing these healthy lifestyle habits will set you or your child up for a lifetime of effectiveness and success in achieving life goals.
As Stephen King once said, "Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration - the rest of us just get up and go to work"
Kim Addison is the owner of Addison Music Learning Centre and has been running the successful and popular school since May of 1995.